THIS WILL BE THE FIRST BORN OF L

THIS IS ME , THE FIRST BORN OF LUCY PURCELL AND GRAHAM SLACK.

MY NAME IS NOAH.

The two photos below show me in a comfortable position just waiting to come out and see you all. I have had a message from a cousin of mine, called Aliesha, who has told me that this birth thing is no big deal. When the time comes, it's just a matter of crawling along a tunnel and popping out. Although she tells me the exit from this tunnel can be a tight squeeze.

I think I'm going to have a long nap now. I'll talk to you later when it's time for my birth.

"Hello again". Well, something is stirring. Guess it's time I made an effort to get out of here.

Here we go, I'm trying to get into the tunnel. Not as easy as I thought.

Blimey! This doesn't seem right. Houston, I think we have a problem.

Not much else I can do. I hope help comes from somewhere because I'm stuck.

Wait a minute, what's that bright light? I see a large opening. Someone's lifting me up.

Wow! I'm out!

I can hear voices; don't really understand what they are saying. I think it's something to do with History because they have mentioned Caesar, or maybe Caesarean. Ah well who cares I'm out.

Not sure why, but I think I am expected to cry now, so I will.

Just for the record - here are a few facts:

I was born in Jessop's Hospital on 27th November 2010 at 12.13am and weighed 8lb 13 oz (4kg)

My full name is: Noah Freddie Slack

Right about now I should be snuggled up with my mummy but I'm not:

I guess the problem with my birth is still ongoing because I've been taken to Jessop's SCBU

(Special Care Baby Unit). It appears that my mummy had an infection in her tummy or to give it the more technical name, SCEPTICEMIA which is bacteria in the blood.

To make matters worse, mummy was moved to the HDU (High Dependency Unit, at the Royal Hallamshire Hospital. We were separated for two days before they brought her back to Jessops.

I did get to meet someone who looks a lot happier than I feel at the moment:

MY DADDY!

I was doing OK. Just a little yellow in colour which is not uncommon in new born babies

On Friday, 3rd December we were allowed home:

Getting home allowed me to meet some of my relations:

This my step-uncle, THOMAS.

And next we have another relation?

I haven't a clue, so I'll call her Mrs arms and legs.

Now let's see what would I like to be when I grow up?

A footballer? Or a Hoodie? No too yobbish.

Maybe a film star? Perhaps not.

I was told that as it was getting quite near Christmas I should dress in strange clothes because mummy and daddy were going to take me to meet some very old people in Dronfield: